Lair of the Minotaur
"War Metal Battle Master"

(Southern Lord 2009)Lair of the Minotaur - War Metal Battle Master

Fact: guys love movies in which warriors in loincloths hack each other to pieces. Fact: guys love naked women. A lot. So the concept behind the video for "War Metal Battle Master" is a no-brainer: dudes getting bashed with swords while naked, ravening vampire-women with comically large breasts smear blood all over themselves. "War Metal Battle Master," the song, is the featured video clip on this DVD and was taken from last year's Lair of the Minotaur album of the same name. "War Metal Battle Master," the DVD, contains both the censored and uncensored versions of the video, a couple behind-the-scenes featurettes, and ten live clips of Lair of the Minotaur's filthy, sludgy, blackened metal goodness.

The video is actually pretty cool. It features two guys who look like Brad Pitt in Troy (they're supposed to be Ares and some other heavily oiled wrecking machine) locked in bloody combat with evil masked brigands. The slaughtered foes are dragged away and eaten by the aforementioned naked women. There's carnage galore; you'll find more decapitations, cadaver hijinx, and intestine eating than in some full-length horror films. It's low budget for sure, but gore, breasts, and the combination of the two make up for the lack of funds.

The censored version of the video is predictably not nearly as interesting, as most of the really gruesome bits and all of the T & A is removed. The behind-the-scenes featurettes are short, mildly amusing/informative, and show just how uncomfortable one can be when dressed in nothing but a thin layer of congealing fake blood. The live clips are lo-fi and raw, but this befits Lair of the Minotaur's grimy, guttural style.

As a package, "War Metal Battle Master" is entertaining, but hardly essential. This is actually the kind of thing that gets packaged into special edition versions of CDs these days. Lair of the Minotaur fans may want to pick this up, but for metal connoisseurs in general, just go and get "War Metal Battle Master." The album, not the song or DVD.

B-

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