Various Artists
"Taste of Christmas"

(Warcon 2005)Various Artists - Taste of Christmas

It's no secret that the holiday season is the most miserable time of year for Americans. It's a time when money runs dry, a new video game console is released that your kids just have to have or they'll hate you if you don't get it for them, and if you have kids that are younger than 8 years old, you have to go out of your way to prove to them that some jolly fat fuck in red is watching them and if it's not that then you got to break the news to them that Santa is just a myth. Thank the Lord I don't have kids. But regardless you still got to spend time with your demented extended family and in-laws as well as get those awful fucking cards where the sender includes those never ending notes about every little thing that their stupid kids do throughout the year.

I don't mean to sound like a scrooge but statistics back me up here, people. It is a known fact that depression, peril, self loathing, and suicide rates do increase this time of the year. So, if you need something to make you a little bit more Grinch prone this Christmas or if you can't find that lump of coal to put in that certain someone's stocking, then be sure to give them "Taste of Christmas."

There are some tracks on here that are easy to stomach like Amped's skate punk tinged rendition of "We Three Kings" and The Black Halo's riff raining "Homeless for Christmas." Skindred gets their dub reggae metal on with "Jungle Bells" as Opiate for the Masses' "Christmas Evel" is quite possibly the only instance where holiday cheer can be merged with some grind core insanity.

But aside from the above mentioned tracks this album is pretty much full of songs from the mall punk generation of bands like Funeral for a Friend, Plain White T's, and Roses are Red. Utah victim hood mongers The Used come in with the ultra sappy "Alone This Holiday" while front man Bert "feel sorry for me because I had a rough cushy suburban life, so I think I'll go fuck Kelly Osborne" McCracken takes a huge shit on John Lennon's legacy as he joins the Street Drum Corps on "Happy Christmas (War is Over)".

So if you know someone that loiters around your local Hot Topic franchise and who cuts themselves and whose only purpose in life is attending the Warped Tour, then this is the perfect gift for them. So, have yourself an emo little Christmas.

D-

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